Why Not To Buy A Hot Tub (2024)

One Tuesday, Greg looked out the window. The Hydro-Zen sat cold and dark, covered in a fine layer of pollen and bird droppings. He realized he hadn't been in it for four months. It wasn't a portal to paradise anymore; it was a 400-gallon monument to his own hubris.

"Should've just bought a nice bathtub," Greg whispered, as he went back to balancing the pH one last time. why not to buy a hot tub

The "paradise" began to smell less like a spa and more like a public pool that had seen better days. Greg spent his Saturdays hunched over the water like a mad scientist, clutching test strips and bottles of pH-Down. One Tuesday, Greg looked out the window

It was glorious. They spent every evening in a swirl of 102-degree bliss. They felt like titans of relaxation. Greg bought a floating tray for his drinks. Sarah bought a waterproof pillow. They were "hot tub people" now. It wasn't a portal to paradise anymore; it

The Miller family didn't just buy a hot tub; they bought a "Hydro-Zen 5000 Paradise Portal." It arrived on a Tuesday, a gleaming marble-white basin of promise that sat on their deck like a luxury spacecraft.

"The alkalinity is spiking, Sarah! I can’t stabilize the calcium hardness!" he shouted, his eyes red from chlorine fumes. The "Zen" was gone, replaced by the crushing responsibility of keeping a giant vat of human soup from turning into a swamp.