Touching Myself (audio Only).m4a May 2026

"The desk is cold. It’s oak, I think. My knuckles are dry from the winter air. I’m touching the scar on my palm from that summer in Maine—it feels like a ridge of smooth wax."

The audio cut out. Elias looked down at his hands, now older and marked by different winters. He reached out and touched the edge of his desk, the wood grain rough under his fingertips. He felt the ridge of the scar on his palm.

Elias sat still in his darkened office, listening to the ghost of who he used to be. The younger Elias described the texture of his own sweater, the weight of his watch, the way his pulse felt against his thumb. It was a desperate attempt to prove he existed during a year when he had felt invisible. touching myself (audio only).m4a

The file was buried in a folder labeled Unsorted_2024 . It had no thumbnail, just the generic grey icon of a voice memo. Elias clicked it, expecting a forgotten grocery list or a half-mumbled melody. Instead, the speakers crackled with the sound of static and a shallow, rhythmic breath.

As the 12-minute file reached its end, the background noise changed. He heard the distant siren of a city he no longer lived in. "The desk is cold

He didn't delete the file. He renamed it Proof.m4a and moved it to his desktop, a small digital anchor for the next time the world felt like it was slipping away.

"I'm okay," the voice on the recording said, softer now. "I'm here. I'm solid." I’m touching the scar on my palm from

"I’m recording this because I’m starting to forget what I feel like," a voice whispered. It was his own voice, but younger—sharper.